It been awhile since my last post, time apparently flies as they say. I’ve been busy working but now have quite a bit of vacation coming up. Hopefully I will find the time to post more often now.
Last couple of months have been quite stressful for me in many ways, both work and stuff that has been going on with people in my family that are suffering from depression ongoing cancer treatments. During this time I have come to know parts of my personality more then I had before. People talk about the inferior function taking hold and shadow functions become apparent. When I’m stressed and on the border of breaking I turn into something that is quite the opposite of who I really am. I tend to become more hyper, less in touch with my feelings and more impulsive. I overindulge, go on binges and then regret it later because it does not add up to the ideal that I have of myself. Something on the lines of my inferior Se fighting my dominant Ni function for power. A good example of this is when I’m in the grip of stress and had a bit to much to drink. I really go off my rails and become a very extroverted and sensation seeking person. Quite the opposite of my usual self I become somewhat of an ESTP.
Among other personality types I have not experienced this behavior like I see in myself. At least not to the extent of becoming the complete opposite. I even had a friend comment on my behavior with surprise and at times I can even feel a bit split personality. Complex and layered to a degree that I still surprise myself with my own behavior sometimes. The nature of it makes perfect sense of course since this is merely my ego compensating the very introverted and intuitive being I usually am, trying to find balance. Like how humans often want the complete opposite of what they have. Brunettes want blonde hair, short people want to be tall, very tall people want to be shorter etc. Another great example is that I am always attracted to extroverts more then introverts, since I am an introvert myself. I guess this is the minds natural response or survival instinct, finding balance to keep yourself not ending up to far down one path.