perfectionism – INFJ Ramblings

INFJ Careers to Avoid and the Best Jobs for INFJs

Tue, 06 Aug 2013 22:22:00 +0000

There is many mixed opinions when it comes to career choices for INFJs. Especially in the areas of art and careers where we get to use our Se (extroverted sensing) function. Se is our inferior function in our stack and it is the most difficult one to handle in a healthy way. A source of stress and anxiety for INFJs is often our Se and this function is in our stack to balance our dominant function Ni (introverted intuition). Ni is a introverted function and complex by nature, it helps us connect the dots and make sense of information we take in. It is an completely unconscious function with the work being done underneath the surface of our functioning. Basically Se is like the polar opposite of Ni which is why we are attracted to using this function.

I have played around with music, painting, drawing and other things that lets me express my Se most of my life. I have always been drawn to it and the last couple of years I have begun to understand the implications it can have for an INFJ. It’s a bit of a hate love relationship. It is very easy for me to imagine the perfect outcome of a piece of art in my mind, the ideal of what I want to create. But when put under pressure, self doubt or perfectionistic tendencies can often implicate things and distort your vision. I can start to obsess about details and feel like the results never come out like I imagined them to be, it’s never perfect. This is where the tension comes from playing around to much with our inferior and it can make you grow impatient with yourself and create stress and self doubt.

I’ve seen other articles on blogs that recommend INFJs against career choices that involves our Se. I’m a bit divided in it and I feel INFJs should go down that line of work if they want, as long as they feel that it also brings them happiness. Personally I don’t feel fulfilled without getting to indulge myself in some project using my Se, it is the only time I actually feel free and out of my busy introverted mind. It’s brings me peace inside while working with my Se and since I enjoy doing it, I’ve become talented in this area which makes it easier to pick it as a career choice. I create something in the external world and I feel that bridges the gap between my mind and the external, which I often feel quite separated from. I like the idea that others get to enjoy what I’ve created and as an intuitive artist I bring a completely different perspective into creating art. When under pressure working in a career choice like this can bring you a lot of stress, but as they say no pain no gain. I believe we can’t function to our full potential until we learn how to handle our inferior function, and there is no other way then by using it often. Avoiding it will just make you want to indulge in it more and it is a part of you either you like it or nor.

It is good to make sure you also have other interests that let’s your Ni relax alone in it’s natural habitat without Se. I like to read, write and speculate about deep things. The key is balance your functions and know when you are overdoing it and it is doing you more harm then good. If art interests you find your personal perspective in it, the side that lets you use all of your skills as an INFJ and also indulge in your Se as needed. I’m convinced that INFJs can excel well in this area if you learn your limits and what particular set of skills you bring to the table.

The post INFJ Careers to Avoid and the Best Jobs for INFJs appeared first on INFJ Ramblings.

INFJ anxiety and stress

Thu, 01 Aug 2013 22:10:00 +0000

Sadly enough, it turns out the most popular posts on this blog is the ones that are about anxiety and INFJs. I know this is a big part of being this personality type so I thought I’ll do another post about it and try to summarize my experiences further.

(At the bottom of the post I have also put together an INFJ survival kit of the best products to improve your life)

I’m a INFJ and a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), if you are not familiar with HSPs you should Google it. Basically it’s a well researched classification for people with unusually sensitive nervous systems, and because of this they struggle with feelings or sensory stimuli. We feel things on a higher scale then others. Looking at statistics HSPs are common among INFJs and INFPs, but they do occur among most personality types to certain degrees. I experience this heightened sensitivity in both my feelings and senses. It is pretty understandable since as an INFJ I am both a feeler and also have dominant and inferior perceiving functions. Se (extroverted sensing), is our inferior function and this is a highly unconscious function together with our dominant Ni (introverted intuition). They operate mostly together in our subconscious and Se fuels our primary Ni with external information.

Our Se basically acts as a balance to our highly intuitive state of functioning which makes us very perceptive of our external environments and other people. This can be both a gift and a curse for INFJs since we take in so much information it can be hard to filter it at times and we can get overloaded. Since our dominant perceiving function is introverted it also gets even more focused and turned inward compared to people with an extroverted equivalent. The problem with introverted intuition as dominant is that since it is introverted we might tend to internalize feelings even without being aware of it.

I’ve been battling anxiety and stress on a daily basis for most of my life and a lot of it tend to come from being highly sensitive and intuitive. I even had full blown panic attacks or mania in the past when it is at it’s worst. Usually my state of being in general influence the magnitude of negative feelings, my anxiety grows worse if there is something bothering me in my life. What helps is dealing with things as soon as you can, because if you let them sit there and bother you in the back of your mind they will make everything worse.

To much sensory stimuli can also lead to anxiety for me. High uncontrollable sounds, flashing and intense lights and imagery, busy environments, big groups of people and having expectations put on you tend to trigger these feelings the most. Basically things that connects to our senses and feelings which are not possible to control. I get agitated and nervous, can’t concentrate my thoughts on what is going on and can even feel physically ill. It becomes a downward spiral which side tracks my mood and can bring on other feelings of anxiety completely unrelated to the first cause. For example, an noisy environment can trigger stress which sets off bodily sensations making me feel like something is wrong or I’m sick. Usually when I calm down or the trigger stops I can realize that it’s false feelings, but during it feels like being caught in a grip. You can’t tell if it’s real or not because your usual state of functioning is suppressed. Many describe it as INFJs living in a constant state of disembodiment, we are more connected to our mind then the physical.

Being very perceptive to things makes you want to be able to control these external perceptions. The problem is most other people do not operate in a Ni state of being which makes it all much more difficult for others to relate to. People disturb you with noise or insist on talking to you when you are busy which makes you unable to focus on anything. To many people talking at the same time makes it hard to separate the words. Hard to sleep with background noise or insomnia from to much stimulation. Being among a noisy crowd of commuters in a train without AC can be a real nightmare, draining your energy quickly when your Ni and Se is trying to make sense of all the sensory stimulation. Since we are introverted by nature we tend to consciously focus in on one thing at a time, multitasking and following what’s going on everywhere around you can be exhausting. When you can’t keep up with everything it easily creates stress and anxiety.

Another source of anxiety for me is feelings of perfectionism and high expectations in the self and the external world. It can be that the creative vision you imagined in your mind for your painting, does not appear in the one you created in real life. That you try to express your feelings or self to a person but words don’t suffice in real life, making it reflect what you meant poorly. Or when you have to impress someone, present yourself or your work and you idealize the perfect outcome for it but in real life you can’t seem to pull it off like you imagined. It all has a lot to do with self esteem and expectations our Ni put on our self which we in turn fail to accomplish. Then by being introverted feelers we intensify these feelings inward making us unable to escape and cope with them easily. We can always imagine the true ideal and who we want to be, but we can never achieve it because when we do there will always be something else we want, the next step. We are future oriented and this is what drives our ideals also. Needless to say life as an INFJ is not easy and it’s understandable why others might consider us moody, melancholic and intense at times.

It is important to understand as an INFJ that your feelings sometimes tend to go over the top and to realize when this happens. That it is something temporary and it happens for a reason, it’s your fight or flight response. Your body and mind is telling you that you need to slow down a bit in order to enjoy yourself. Don’t let it consume you because nothing bad will happen feeling anxiety, it is just a feeling and will pass eventually. You will never defeat it since it is in part who you are but you can learn to live with it.

As INFJs living in a western and modern society I think we are unlucky, today’s society is not very adapted for us. It favors everything that we are not and will try to mold us into just that. It is important to remember that we should not try to change our own behaviors because of this. I spent a decade of my life trying to change myself into someone I’m not, to be more extroverted, sensing and thinking as a male since this is how society tells us to be to fit it. Those years of trying didn’t bring me any closer to happiness. I just felt depressed and even more alienated from the world. I the end I came to the conclusion that you have to be yourself and find ways to cope in life instead, treating yourself and your body better. This in turn will improve your life greatly as an INFJ. Since we have no Si (introverted sensing) function in our stack I think we are one of the personalities to benefit the most from a healthy lifestyle. It grounds us and connects us to our bodies better. Feeling detached from my body and the world have been very common for me and also made me question my sanity at points in my life. Exercise have greatly improved these feelings and the overall anxiety I experience.

If you still have not come to terms with the aspect of being an INFJ, I suggest you take a step back and see what you can do to improve your everyday life to better suit you. Even if it means changing your job, relationships or where you live I promise you it’s worth it. Being an INFJ is not easy but there is no point in making it any harder then it already is.

To give you a head start on ways to improve your life as an INFJ, I’ve put together the INFJ survival kit. The following are products that I use almost daily and that helped change my life:

Rhodiola Rosea, supplement. This is an adaptogenic herb that helps manage healthy mood and stress response. The most natural and safe anti depressant that can be used daily, long term. Even people who are not depressed can use this to boost their mood levels.

L-Theanine, supplement. Theanine is the amino acid in tea that is responsible for the relaxing effect that tea has on the mind and body. In isolated form Theanine is one of the safest and natural anti anxiety treatments there is. It is so safe that no toxic dosage has been able to be established, meaning you can probably take as much as you can fit in your stomach and it still would not hurt you. Yet, at only 100mg dosage it relaxes you without making you tired and improves cognition and mood. This is my favourite supplement and I highly recommend it to everyone no matter how healthy you are. Modern life is full of stress and this is the best antidote I have found.

Pelter Optime Noise Reduction Earmuff. If you have issues with high noise levels at work or home these are ideal to wear while also look like normal music headphones. Great for relaxing in noisy environments and also great for meditation wherever you might be.

Zafu Yoga Meditation Cushion. Meditation can be a difficult habit to build but is one of the greatest things there is to build mental power and emotional stability. I found that investing in a proper cushion and making it a ritual using it greatly improvement my motivation to stick with meditation as a daily habit. Meditation is free but humans don’t tend to value things that are free as highly. Spending some money on this cushion might just be the push you need to stick to a daily meditation habit.

Calm – Meditate, Sleep, Relax. This is a great and FREE app to use when starting out in meditation. Meditation can be a confusing thing for people who never tried it and never experienced relaxing in that way before. This app helps!

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This is THE book on the subject of introverts. Filled with useful information, research and tips to help introverts and non introverts understand what this trait is all about. If you are an INFJ this is key for you to reach new heights in your life.

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich. This book is one of my all time favourite books about life style design. When it comes to INFJs and many INxx types we are often not happy and fulfilled in traditional office or alike job positions. We strive for something more. This book will empower you to find your own path in life and create the life you want to life. Can’t recommend this one enough!

The post INFJ anxiety and stress appeared first on INFJ Ramblings.

INFJ Anxiety Under Stress and Depression

Thu, 01 Aug 2013 22:10:00 +0000

Sadly enough, it turns out the most popular posts on this blog is the ones that are about INFJ anxiety under stress and depression. INFJ under stress often leads to regular anxiety and if prolonged, also depression. INFJ depression can be more intense and this is the case for all feeler type personalities. I know anxiety is common and can be a big part of being this personality type so I thought I’ll do another post about it and try to summarize my experiences further.

At the bottom of this post I have also put together an INFJ survival kit of some of the best products to overcome anxiety, stress and depression for good.

Looking at statistics HSPs are common among INFJs and INFPs, but they do occur among most personality types to certain degrees. I experience this heightened sensitivity in both my feelings and senses. It is pretty understandable since as an INFJ I am both a feeler and also have dominant and inferior perceiving functions.

Se (extroverted sensing), is our inferior function and this is a highly unconscious function together with our dominant Ni (introverted intuition). They operate mostly together in our subconscious and Se fuels our primary Ni with external information.

INFJ Under Stress

Since our dominant perceiving function is introverted it also gets even more focused and turned inward compared to people with an extroverted equivalent. The problem with introverted intuition as dominant is that since it is introverted we might tend to internalize feelings even without being aware of it.

Usually my state of being in general influence the magnitude of negative feelings, my INFJ anxiety grows worse if there is something bothering me in my life. What helps is dealing with things as soon as you can, because if you let them sit there and bother you in the back of your mind they will make everything worse.

INFJ Anxiety

I get agitated and nervous, can’t concentrate my thoughts on what is going on and can even feel physically ill. It becomes a downward spiral which side tracks my mood and can bring on other feelings of anxiety completely unrelated to the first cause.

For example, an noisy environment can trigger stress which sets off bodily sensations making me feel like something is wrong or I’m sick. Usually when I calm down or the trigger stops I can realize that it’s false feelings, but during it feels like being caught in a grip.

You can’t tell if it’s real or not because your usual state of functioning is suppressed. Many describe it as INFJs living in a constant state of disembodiment, we are more connected to our mind then the physical.

Perception Under Stress

People disturb you with noise or insist on talking to you when you are busy which makes you unable to focus on anything. To many people talking at the same time makes it hard to separate the words. Hard to sleep with background noise or insomnia from to much stimulation.

Being among a noisy crowd of commuters in a train without AC can be a real nightmare, draining your energy quickly when your Ni and Se is trying to make sense of all the sensory stimulation.

Since we are introverted by nature we tend to consciously focus in on one thing at a time, multitasking and following what’s going on everywhere around you can be exhausting. When you can’t keep up with everything it easily creates stress and anxiety.

Expectations Can Trigger Depression

That you try to express your feelings or self to a person but words don’t suffice in real life, making it reflect what you meant poorly. Or when you have to impress someone, present yourself or your work and you idealize the perfect outcome for it but in real life you can’t seem to pull it off like you imagined.

It all has a lot to do with self esteem and expectations our Ni put on our self which we in turn fail to accomplish. Then by being introverted feelers we intensify these feelings inward making us unable to escape and cope with them easily.

We can always imagine the true ideal and who we want to be, but we can never achieve it because when we do there will always be something else we want, the next step. We are future oriented and this is what drives our ideals also.

Needless to say life as an INFJ is not easy and it’s understandable why others might consider us moody, melancholic and intense at times.

Your body and mind is telling you that you need to slow down a bit in order to enjoy yourself. Don’t let it consume you because nothing bad will happen feeling anxiety, it is just a feeling and will pass eventually. You will never defeat it since it is in part who you are but you can learn to live with it.

INFJ Depression

I spent a decade of my life trying to change myself into someone I’m not, to be more extroverted, sensing and thinking as a male since this is how society tells us to be to fit it. Those years of trying didn’t bring me any closer to happiness. I just felt depressed and even more alienated from the world.

I came to the conclusion in the end that you have to be yourself and find ways to cope in life instead, treating yourself and your body better. This in turn will improve your life greatly as an INFJ.

Since we have no Si (introverted sensing) function in our stack I think we are one of the personalities to benefit the most from a healthy lifestyle. It grounds us and connects us to our bodies better. Feeling detached from my body and the world have been very common for me and also made me question my sanity at points in my life. Exercise have greatly improved these feelings and the overall anxiety I experience.

Conclusion

Being an INFJ is not easy but there is no point in making it any harder then it already is.

Read more about how to beat depression easy in our other article.

To give you a head start on ways to improve your INFJ depression, anxiety and when under stress, I’ve put together the following INFJ survival kit.

These are products that I use almost daily and that helped change and shape my life as an INFJ for the better:

Rhodiola Rosea, supplement – This is an adaptogenic herb that helps manage healthy mood and stress response. The most natural and safe anti depressant that can be used daily, long term. Even people who are not depressed can use this to boost their mood levels.

L-Theanine, supplement – Theanine is the amino acid in tea that is responsible for the relaxing effect that tea has on the mind and body. In isolated form Theanine is one of the safest and natural anti anxiety treatments there is.

It is so safe that no toxic dosage has been able to be established, meaning you can probably take as much as you can fit in your stomach and it still would not hurt you. Yet, at only 100mg dosage it relaxes you without making you tired and improves cognition and mood.

This is my favourite supplement and I highly recommend it to everyone no matter how healthy you are. Modern life is full of stress and this is the best antidote I have found.

Pelter Optime Noise Reduction Earmuff – If you have issues with high noise levels at work or home these are ideal to wear while also look like normal music headphones. Great for relaxing in noisy environments and also great for meditation wherever you might be.

Zafu Yoga Meditation Cushion – Meditation can be a difficult habit to build but is one of the greatest things there is to build mental power and emotional stability. I found that investing in a proper cushion and making it a ritual using it greatly improvement my motivation to stick with meditation as a daily habit. Meditation is free but humans don’t tend to value things that are free as highly. Spending some money on this cushion might just be the push you need to stick to a daily meditation habit.

Calm – Meditate, Sleep, Relax – This is a great and FREE app to use when starting out in meditation. Meditation can be a confusing thing for people who never tried it and never experienced relaxing in that way before. This app helps!

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – This is THE book on the subject of introverts. Filled with useful information, research and tips to help introverts and non introverts understand what this trait is all about. If you are an INFJ this is key for you to reach new heights in your life.

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich – This book is one of my all time favourite books about life style design. When it comes to INFJs and many INxx types we are often not happy and fulfilled in traditional office or alike job positions. We strive for something more. This book will empower you to find your own path in life and create the life you want to life. Can’t recommend this one enough!

The post INFJ Anxiety Under Stress and Depression appeared first on INFJ Ramblings.

INFJ Characteristics: Idealist, Morals and Hardships in Life

Sat, 27 Jul 2013 11:51:00 +0000

Been reading a bunch of INFJ articles lately and it sparked some thoughts about our idealistic tendencies and implementing our intuitive ideals in our external physical world. In other means the constant struggle we have between Ni and our inferior function Se. I can relate to this in my line of work since I work with digital arts for a living. I often get a feeling or image in my mind of how I envision the result to be, or how it should be in order to get the result I want (Ni). However, the real challenge comes in actually creating it in real life (Se).

Often the outcome in the real world does not meet up to the envisioned ideal or moral in our mind, it’s not enough and this is where the pressure point for our intuition and inferior function lies. Where we create our stress. This is the source of our perfectionist tendencies, INFJs have the ability to envision a perfect ideal that is not possible to reach in the real world where things are chaotic and much the opposite of what we want. We gain many of our talents from this since we somehow are able to see these solutions that are not based on anything we previously know in the real world. They just appear to us out of the the blue. One theory could be that this has to do with the connection of opposites and our talent of jumping from A to D without having to pass by B and C.

This is where the internal power struggle lies and the part of us which we should all strive to understand better in order to live a life free from stress and anxieties. We create these ideals for everything in our lives. Like how we should behave in situations, how things should play out , how our relationships should be, what job we should have or how we should feel about things. When these ideals turn out the opposite of what we envision them to be we can feel unhappy, full of disappointment and regret. One might even argue the question of what is the point of there existing INFJs and having this ability if our morals and visions can never be actualized in real life.

I think that even though this might bring us much unhappiness in our lives this is how we are meant to be and we should not strive for being something we are not if we ever want to feel good about ourselves. This is our driving force which pushes us forward in our lives and let’s us see and feel things others simply cannot. We need to follow our hearts in this and when things does not turn out how we wished them to, we have to remember that this is how life is. The important part is trusting yourself and staying true to what you think and feel about things, even when life tries to tell you otherwise. Intuition is our key.

The post INFJ Characteristics: Idealist, Morals and Hardships in Life appeared first on INFJ Ramblings.