extroverts – INFJ Ramblings

INFJ in Love: On INFJ Relationships and the Best Match

Sat, 17 Aug 2013 13:28:00 +0000

When it comes to dating it seems like my interest follows a pattern. I’m not often interested in people that are similar to myself. It seems like I’m draw to opposites of myself, people that complete me in a way. The bad thing is that often these relationships don’t tend to work out in the end since in some situations you end up being on different planets so to speak. It might be difficult to get along since your opinions about things are so different. Still, interestingly enough I am drawn to extroverted people even though dating testsonline tells me that my perfect match would be an INFP.

Why does this happen?

I think it is the minds way of wanting to complement itself and in many ways it is quite a nice experience. Extroverts bring introverts out of our heads and you don’t have to take the lead in conversations, something we might struggle with naturally. As INFJs we are also expressive and interested in people, so we are often mistaken for extroverts. However as a match I think extroverts can also be though to be in a relationship with if you don’t get enough space and alone time.

Often people search in others the thing they are missing in themselves. Which is why people can be attracted to the complete opposite. We all know the cliché of the blonde good-looking nice girl who is attracted to the mean bad-boy type of a guy. It’s natures way of completing itself, the hunter gatherer sense that’s adapting to the environment to survive. We cannot only be hunters or only gatherers among mates, in order to survive.

In my past relationships people who needed to be taken care of or struggled in life tended to be attracted to me especially. I think it is because of the INFJ way, we are natural counselors and mentors who genuinely care about other people. We are good at helping people get ahead in life and people trust us and our judgments. Maybe it is also because we INFJ often struggle as well at times in our lives.

Overall I’m interested in original or unusual people, people that have a passion for something or a goal they want in life and are prepared to work for it. I feel most of the world are shallow and often the ‘good ones’ so to speak, are the odd types and people that had to work for something in their lives to get where they are. I guess it all has to do with how we value ourselves as INFJs and generally I find it hard to connect to sensing type personalities. To me they seem like being from a different planet when it comes to values, morals and actions.

Personally I think ENxx types can be good in relationships with INFJs. You complement each other and are also able to connect on the same abstract level in discussions and interests. Other introverted personalities, INxx can of course be good as well and from some I heard it can be close to magical. However, I think it is important to make sure that both your introverted natures don’t hold you back in each of your own social lives and in doing stuff out in the real world. As two introverts it’s easy to feel that having each other is enough and you don’t need other people, and then you end up isolating yourselves from the world.

Dating can be a tough thing for the INFJ type since we can have a hard time with strangers and getting out of our shell. Personally I’ve tried all my life to get comfortable in these situations and places like pubs, bars and clubs but without much luck. We are not very adapted to this type of environment and I tend to be better off at home parties or dinners when it comes to meeting new people. Hitting on the other sex is something I’ve never really done with the point of only showing interest either. Usually flirting comes natural to me in a discussing and never had to make a big effort with it or to plan it ahead. Still, picking up people in bars and clubs have never been my thing and I always want to get to know people more before I feel comfortable.

To finish all of this off, I would like to recommend a website. Online dating is something that can be a good thing to try for introverted types and I would recommend you this one if you are interested:

http://www.okcupid.com/

The good thing about okcupid is that you get to answer questions and it maps your personality. This information the website then use to match you to other people with similar values and interests. Some people also take the MBTI tests on the website so you can find people with certain personalities as well.

The post INFJ in Love: On INFJ Relationships and the Best Match appeared first on INFJ Ramblings.

INFJ Introvert: On Introverted Problems and Insomnia

Fri, 09 Aug 2013 16:49:00 +0000

For some time now I’ve been thinking about my sleeping patterns and ways that I would like to improve them. From what I heard from other introverts it seems like introverted people are more night owl kind of types then extroverts. We tend to want to stay awake later and wake up later in the morning. As an introvert I feel it’s pretty understandable since night is the time of the day with the least noise and distractions since most other people are sleeping. It is a time of the day where you can relax and wind down without other people disturbing you. Since we get our energy from alone time, it’s perfect for introverts.

Extroverts tend to rise up earlier in the morning which also makes a lot of sense since they get their energy from interacting and being around other people. Daytime is of course the best time for this and rising up early gives you a head start. There are some articles online saying that early risers are the most productive. I think there is some truth to this but I would also say that it mostly has to do with how productive you are in general and how you manage your time. The nice thing about rising up early is that your energy deposits are at their peak level. But as an introvert and from other introverts I know, we tend to be people that are slow started in the morning. It takes some time until we really ‘awake’ and are in our most functioning state. Hence maybe nighttime is a more suitable time of the day for some of us to do our best work.

Being slow started in the morning is one of the things I always wanted to change. Usually on normal working days it takes me until after lunch before I feel ‘fresh’ and at my peak energy level. The hours following waking up in the morning, I feel slow and tired and in the past I turned to coffee as my savior. I don’t think it’s connected to my sleeping patterns since they are consistent of 7-8 hours sleep each day, maybe this is just part of the introverted nature. As a side note to being slow in the morning the last couple of months I found this amazing medicinal herb called Ashwagandha which has helped me with this tremendously. I now take a teaspoon of the herb before going to bed every night and wake up full of energy, it also makes me fall asleep quicker in the evening. You can read more about it on these links:

http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/health-benefits-ashwagandha/

http://mr-ginseng.com/en/ashwagandha/

I buy this brand of Ashwagandha:

Gaia Herbs Ashwagandha Root, 60 Liquid Phyto-Capsules

Introverts do seem to need more sleep then most extroverts to function. If I sleep less then 6 hours, I can’t function like normally and it affects my mood a lot. Most of my extroverted friends doesn’t seem to be affected by lack of sleep to the same degree, and same with hangovers. My theory is that since we introverts collect our energy from inside, and sleep deprivation affects our body and mind, lack of sleep will have a biggest effect on us. Extroverts collect their energy from the external world so it’s much easier for them to keep up a good mood and motivation even though they feel bad.

The last year I’ve been changing my pre sleep rituals to more suit my personality and it has greatly improved my life. I no longer use the computer or watch tv before going to bed. No electronic devices 2 hours before bed has worked to get me relaxed in the evening. Not only does the decrease in stimulation work, but also because most modern led screens imitate a light similar to that of the sun, which prevents Melantonin to be released in the body. Melantonin is the body’s natural sleep hormone and it is released when it starts to get dark. I now read books instead the last few hours a day and these two things has literally cured most of the insomnia I suffered from.

Insomnia seems like a common things for introverts and especially INFx types and HSPs (Highly Sensitive People). We are easy stimulated and even the smallest things can keep us awake at night. Like sounds, watching to much tv before bed, having a lot to do the next day or other things that are bothering us which we can’t stop thinking about. Overtime at work has been my biggest contributor to my insomnia because when I work late my mind is racing from overwork, and then it usually takes a couple of hours for it to cool down. The problem arises when you don’t get home until late and have to get up early the next day.

I plan on trying to become an early riser to see if it might help with my insomnia issues, making me more tired in the evening. I’ll update with a post at a later time concerning the results from my experiments. I think waking up early can be a good thing for some people but for introverts I’m not yet convinced. I’ll leave you guys for now with this great article:

Early Riser or Night Owl: Why It Doesn’t Really Matter

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/early-riser-or-night-owl-why-it-doesnt-really-matter.html

The post INFJ Introvert: On Introverted Problems and Insomnia appeared first on INFJ Ramblings.