As with everything when it comes to INFJs, when it rains it really pours. This whole week set me up in a negative emotional spiral where I ended up internalizing everything to the brink of feeling physically ill. I’ve been there so many times before but still I never realize it in the moment. Afterwards when I finally gain some footing and perspective I can look at it with fresh eyes and feel stupid. Stupid that I let these things get to me on such a deep level. Hell maybe I am bipolar, maybe being INFJ equals bipolar to some degree, or bipolar equals INFJ who knows. Before considering writing this, being the INFJ that I am, I of course googled and read everything there is on bipolar and MBTI. Ironic enough being bipolar is more common among INFx’s, and so is depression. No wonder my friend letting me down spun me completely out of proportions and I ended up feeling that I’m either way of the chart with my expectations on relationships or I will be alone for the rest of my life. These are the times I completely despise being an INFJ, dragging myself down an bottomless pit, being my own worst enemy. Caught in the thought loops in my mind endlessly contemplating that when life doesn’t work out, it must either be something wrong with the world or something seriously wrong with myself. With the latter often winning the battle.

I can’t seem to get a grip on these things in the moment, when emotions are running high. At some point I always swing back into reality and see it for what it really is. I know I have unrealistic expectations on people sometimes  because I expect them to think like me. What I forget is that I’m an INFJ, and most of the world are not. They do not think like me or see what I do. Even though the world would probably be better off if it did. Thanks for reading, end of rant… :)